 fortune index all fortunes
| | #10911 | | Max told his friend that he'd just as soon not go hiking in the hills.
Said he, "I'm an anti-climb Max."
[So is that punchline.]
| | | #10912 | | Most people's favorite way to end a game is by winning.
| | | #10913 | | My first baseman is George "Catfish" Metkovich from our 1952 Pittsburgh
Pirates team, which lost 112 games. After a terrible series against the
New York Giants, in which our center fielder made three throwing errors
and let two balls get through his legs, manager Billy Meyer pleaded, "Can
somebody think of something to help us win a game?"
"I'd like to make a suggestion," Metkovich said. "On any ball hit
to center field, let's just let it roll to see if it might go foul."
-- Joe Garagiola, "It's Anybody's Ball Game"
| | | #10914 | | My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.
-- Muhammad Ali
| | | #10915 | | Nadia Comaneci, simple perfection.
-- '76 Olympics
| | | #10916 | | Never play pool with anyone named "Fats".
| | | #10917 | | NEWS FLASH!!
Today the East German pole-vault champion became the West German pole-vault
champion.
| | | #10918 | | Nothing increases your golf score like witnesses.
| | | #10919 | | Now there's three things you can do in a baseball game: you can win
or you can lose or it can rain.
-- Casey Stengel
| | | #10920 | | "Oh, he [a big dog] hunts with papa," she said. "He says Don Carlos [the
dog] is good for almost every kind of game. He went duck hunting one time
and did real well at it. Then Papa bought some ducks, not wild ducks but,
you know, farm ducks. And it got Don Carlos all mixed up. Since the
ducks were always around the yard with nobody shooting at them he knew he
wasn't supposed to kill them, but he had to do something. So one morning
last spring, when the ground was still soft, he took all the ducks and
buried them." "What do you mean, buried them?" "Oh, he didn't hurt them.
He dug little holes all over the yard and picked up the ducks in his mouth
and put them in the holes. Then he covered them up with mud except for
their heads. He did thirteen ducks that way and was digging a hole for
another one when Tony found him. We talked about it for a long time. Papa
said Don Carlos was afraid the ducks might run away, and since he didn't
know how to build a cage he put them in holes. He's a smart dog."
-- R. Bradford, "Red Sky At Morning"
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