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| #1171 |  | Never tell people how to do things.  Tell them WHAT to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
 -- Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.
 
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| #1172 |  | Never trust anyone who says money is no object. 
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| #1173 |  | Never try to teach a pig to sing.  It wastes your time and annoys the pig. -- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
 
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| #1174 |  | NEW YORK-- Kraft Foods, Inc. announced today that its board of directors unanimously rejected the $11 billion takeover bid by Philip
 Morris and Co. A Kraft spokesman stated in a press conference that the
 offer was rejected because the $90-per-share bid did not reflect the
 true value of the company.
 Wall Street insiders, however, tell quite a different story.
 Apparently, the Kraft board of directors had all but signed the takeover
 agreement when they learned of Philip Morris' marketing plans for one of
 their major Middle East subsidiaries.  To a person, the board voted to
 reject the bid when they discovered that the tobacco giant intended to
 reorganize Israeli Cheddar, Ltd., and name the new company Cheeses of Nazareth.
 
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| #1175 |  | Nitwit ideas are for emergencies.  You use them when you've got nothing else to try.  If they work, they go in the Book.  Otherwise you follow
 the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.
 -- Larry Niven, "The Mote in God's Eye"
 
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| #1176 |  | No committee could ever come up with anything as revolutionary as a camel -- anything as practical and as perfectly designed to perform effectively under
 such difficult conditions.
 -- Laurence J. Peter
 
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| #1177 |  | "No job too big; no fee too big!" -- Dr. Peter Venkman, "Ghost-busters"
 
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| #1178 |  | No one gets sick on Wednesdays. 
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| #1179 |  | No problem is insoluble in all conceivable circumstances. 
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| #1180 |  | No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it. -- C. Schulz
 
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