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  fortune index  all fortunes 
  
 |  |  | #9511 |  | Government [is] an illusion the governed should not encourage. -- John Updike, "Couples"
 
 |  |  |  | #9512 |  | Government lies, and newspapers lie, but in a democracy they are different lies. 
 |  |  |  | #9513 |  | Government spending?  I don't know what it's all about.  I don't know any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he
 doesn't know much.
 -- Will Rogers
 
 |  |  |  | #9514 |  | Graduating seniors, parents and friends... Let me begin by reassuring you that my remarks today will stand up
 to the most stringent requirements of the new appropriateness.
 The intra-college sensitivity advisory committee has vetted the
 text of even trace amounts of subconscious racism, sexism and classism.
 Moreover, a faculty panel of deconstructionists have reconfigured
 the rhetorical components within a post-structuralist framework, so as to
 expunge any offensive elements of western rationalism and linear logic.
 Finally, all references flowing from a white, male, eurocentric
 perspective have been eliminated, as have any other ruminations deemed
 denigrating to the political consensus of the moment.
 
 Thank you and good luck.
 -- Doonesbury, the University Chancellor's graduation speech.
 
 |  |  |  | #9515 |  | Great Moments in History: #3 
 August 27, 1949:
 A Hall of Fame opened to honor outstanding members of the
 Women's Air Corp.  It was a WAC's Museum.
 
 |  |  |  | #9516 |  | Grover Cleveland, though constantly at loggerheads with the Senate, got on better with the House of Representatives.  A popular
 story circulating during his presidency concerned the night he was
 roused by his wife crying, "Wake up!  I think there are burglars in the
 house."
 "No, no, my dear," said the president sleepily, "in the Senate maybe,
 but not in the House."
 
 |  |  |  | #9517 |  | Grub first, then ethics. -- Bertolt Brecht
 
 |  |  |  | #9518 |  | Hark ye, Clinker, you are a most notorious offender.  You stand convicted of sickness, hunger, wretchedness, and want.
 -- Tobias Smollet
 
 |  |  |  | #9519 |  | Has the great art and mystery of politics no apparent utility? Does it appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down,
 and its salient virtuosi a gang of umitigated scoundrels?  Then let us
 not forget its high capacity to soothe and tickel the midriff, its
 incomparable services as a maker of entertainment.
 -- H.L. Mencken, "A Carnival of Buncombe"
 
 |  |  |  | #9520 |  | Have you noticed the way people's intelligence capabilities decline sharply the minute they start waving guns around?
 -- Dr. Who
 
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