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| #3678 |  | Abbott's Admonitions: (1) If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know.
 (2) If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.
 -- Charles Abbot, dean, University of Virginia
 
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| #3679 |  | Absent, adj.: Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.
 
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| #3680 |  | Absentee, n.: A person with an income who has had the forethought to remove
 himself from the sphere of exaction.
 -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 
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|  | 
| #3681 |  | Abstainer, n.: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a
 pleasure.
 -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 
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|  | 
| #3682 |  | Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
 -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 
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|  | 
| #3683 |  | Academy: A modern school where football is taught.
 Institute:
 An archaic school where football is not taught.
 
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|  | 
| #3684 |  | Acceptance testing: An unsuccessful attempt to find bugs.
 
 | 
|  | 
| #3685 |  | Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of
 body is better.
 -- Foolish Dictionary
 
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|  | 
| #3686 |  | Accordion, n.: A bagpipe with pleats.
 
 | 
|  | 
| #3687 |  | Accuracy, n.: The vice of being right
 
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