|  | 
| #3838 |  | checkuary, n: The thirteenth month of the year.  Begins New Year's Day and ends
 when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his checks.
 
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|  | 
| #3839 |  | Chef, n.: Any cook who swears in French.
 
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|  | 
| #3840 |  | Cheit's Lament: If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you--
 the next time he's in need.
 
 | 
|  | 
| #3841 |  | Chemicals, n.: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
 
 | 
|  | 
| #3842 |  | Cheops' Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
 
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|  | 
| #3843 |  | Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #36: Never ever ask the tough looking gentleman wearing El Rukn headgear
 where he got his "pyramid powered pizza warmer".
 -- Chicago Reader 3/27/81
 
 | 
|  | 
| #3844 |  | Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #84: The CTA has complimentary pop-up timers available on request
 for overheated passengers.  When your timer pops up, the driver will
 cheerfully baste you.
 -- Chicago Reader 5/28/82
 
 | 
|  | 
| #3845 |  | Chicken Soup: An ancient miracle drug containing equal parts of aureomycin,
 cocaine, interferon, and TLC.  The only ailment chicken soup
 can't cure is neurotic dependence on one's mother.
 -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
 
 | 
|  | 
| #3846 |  | Chism's Law of Completion: The amount of time required to complete a government project is
 precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.
 
 | 
|  | 
| #3847 |  | Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law: When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.
 
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