  | 
| #3838 |   | checkuary, n: 	The thirteenth month of the year.  Begins New Year's Day and ends 	when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his checks.
  | 
  | 
| #3839 |   | Chef, n.: 	Any cook who swears in French.
  | 
  | 
| #3840 |   | Cheit's Lament: 	If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you-- 	the next time he's in need.
  | 
  | 
| #3841 |   | Chemicals, n.: 	Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
  | 
  | 
| #3842 |   | Cheops' Law: 	Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
  | 
  | 
| #3843 |   | Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #36: 	Never ever ask the tough looking gentleman wearing El Rukn headgear 	where he got his "pyramid powered pizza warmer". 		-- Chicago Reader 3/27/81
  | 
  | 
| #3844 |   | Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #84: 	The CTA has complimentary pop-up timers available on request 	for overheated passengers.  When your timer pops up, the driver will 	cheerfully baste you. 		-- Chicago Reader 5/28/82
  | 
  | 
| #3845 |   | Chicken Soup: 	An ancient miracle drug containing equal parts of aureomycin, 	cocaine, interferon, and TLC.  The only ailment chicken soup 	can't cure is neurotic dependence on one's mother. 		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
  | 
  | 
| #3846 |   | Chism's Law of Completion: 	The amount of time required to complete a government project is 	precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.
  | 
  | 
| #3847 |   | Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law: 	When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.
  | 
  | 
  | 
   ...             ...    |