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  fortune index  all fortunes 
  
 |  |  | #1961 |  | `Lasu' Releases SAG 0.3 -- Freeware Book Takes Paves For New World Order by staff writers
 
 ...
 The central Superhighway site called ``sunsite.unc.edu''
 collapsed in the morning before the release.  News about the release had
 been leaked by a German hacker group, Harmonious Hardware Hackers, who
 had cracked into the author's computer earlier in the week.  They had
 got the release date wrong by one day, and caused dozens of eager fans
 to connect to the sunsite computer at the wrong time.  ``No computer can
 handle that kind of stress,'' explained the mourning sunsite manager,
 Erik Troan.  ``The spinning disks made the whole computer jump, and
 finally it crashed through the floor to the basement.''  Luckily,
 repairs were swift and the computer was working again the same evening.
 ``Thank God we were able to buy enough needles and thread and patch it
 together without major problems.''  The site has also installed a new
 throttle on the network pipe, allowing at most four clients at the same
 time, thus making a new crash less likely.  ``The book is now in our
 Incoming folder'', says Troan, ``and you're all welcome to come and get it.''
 -- Lars Wirzenius
 [comp.os.linux.announce]
 
 |  |  |  | #1962 |  | `Lasu' Releases SAG 0.3 -- Freeware Book Takes Paves For New World Order by staff writers
 
 ...
 The SAG is one of the major products developed via the Information
 Superhighway, the brain child of Al Gore, US Vice President.  The ISHW
 is being developed with massive govenment funding, since studies show
 that it already has more than four hundred users, three years before
 the first prototypes are ready.  Asked whether he was worried about the
 foreign influence in an expensive American Dream, the vice president
 said, ``Finland?  Oh, we've already bought them, but we haven't told
 anyone yet.  They're great at building model airplanes as well.  And _I
 can spell potato.''  House representatives are not mollified, however,
 wanting to see the terms of the deal first, fearing another Alaska.
 Rumors about the SAG release have imbalanced the American stock
 market for weeks.  Several major publishing houses reached an all time
 low in the New York Stock Exchange, while publicly competing for the
 publishing agreement with Mr. Wirzenius.  The negotiations did not work
 out, tough.  ``Not enough dough,'' says the author, although spokesmen
 at both Prentice-Hall and Playboy, Inc., claim the author was incapable
 of expressing his wishes in a coherent form during face to face talks,
 preferring to communicate via e-mail.  ``He kept muttering something
 about jiffies and pegs,'' they say.
 ...
 -- Lars Wirzenius
 [comp.os.linux.announce]
 
 |  |  |  | #1963 |  | `Lasu' Releases SAG 0.3 -- Freeware Book Takes Paves For New World Order by staff writers
 
 Helsinki, Finland, August 6, 1995 -- In a surprise movement, Lars
 ``Lasu'' Wirzenius today released the 0.3 edition of the ``Linux System
 Administrators' Guide''.  Already an industry non-classic, the new
 version sports such overwhelming features as an overview of a Linux
 system, a completely new climbing session in a tree, and a list of
 acknowledgements in the introduction.
 The SAG, as the book is affectionately called, is one of the
 corner stones of the Linux Documentation Project.  ``We at the LDP feel
 that we wouldn't be able to produce anything at all, that all our work
 would be futile, if it weren't for the SAG,'' says Matt Welsh, director
 of LDP, Inc.
 The new version is still distributed freely, now even with a
 copyright that allows modification.  ``More dough,'' explains the author.
 Despite insistent rumors about blatant commercialization, the SAG will
 probably remain free.  ``Even more dough,'' promises the author.
 The author refuses to comment on Windows NT and Windows 96
 versions, claiming not to understand what the question is about.
 Industry gossip, however, tells that Bill Gates, co-founder and CEO of
 Microsoft, producer of the Windows series of video games, has visited
 Helsinki several times this year.  Despite of this, Linus Torvalds,
 author of the word processor Linux with which the SAG was written, is
 not worried.  ``We'll have world domination real soon now, anyway,'' he
 explains, ``for 1.4 at the lastest.''
 ...
 -- Lars Wirzenius
 [comp.os.linux.announce]
 
 |  |  |  | #1964 |  | Let the machine do the dirty work. -- "Elements of Programming Style", Kernighan and Ritchie
 
 |  |  |  | #1965 |  | Leveraging always beats prototyping. 
 |  |  |  | #1966 |  | Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code. -- Dave Olson
 
 |  |  |  | #1967 |  | Like punning, programming is a play on words. 
 |  |  |  | #1968 |  | Line Printer paper is strongest at the perforations. 
 |  |  |  | #1969 |  | Lisp Users: Due to the holiday next Monday, there will be no garbage collection.
 
 |  |  |  | #1970 |  | Little known fact about Middle Earth: The Hobbits had a very sophisticated computer network!  It was a Tolkien Ring...
 
 |  |  |  |  |  |   ...            ...   | 
 
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