| | | | 
  fortune index  all fortunes 
  
 |  |  | #1711 |  | Dear Emily: I collected replies to an article I wrote, and now it's time to
 summarize.  What should I do?
 -- Editor
 
 Dear Editor:
 Simply concatenate all the articles together into a big file and post
 that.  On USENET, this is known as a summary.  It lets people read all the
 replies without annoying newsreaders getting in the way.  Do the same when
 summarizing a vote.
 -- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette
 
 |  |  |  | #1712 |  | Dear Emily: I recently read an article that said, "reply by mail, I'll summarize."
 What should I do?
 -- Doubtful
 
 Dear Doubtful:
 Post your response to the whole net.  That request applies only to
 dumb people who don't have something interesting to say.  Your postings are
 much more worthwhile than other people's, so it would be a waste to reply by
 mail.
 -- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette
 
 |  |  |  | #1713 |  | Dear Emily: I saw a long article that I wish to rebut carefully, what should
 I do?
 -- Angry
 
 Dear Angry:
 Include the entire text with your article, and include your comments
 between the lines.  Be sure to post, and not mail, even though your article
 looks like a reply to the original.  Everybody *loves* to read those long
 point-by-point debates, especially when they evolve into name-calling and
 lots of "Is too!" -- "Is not!" -- "Is too, twizot!" exchanges.
 -- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette
 
 |  |  |  | #1714 |  | Dear Emily: I'm having a serious disagreement with somebody on the net. I
 tried complaints to his sysadmin, organizing mail campaigns, called for
 his removal from the net and phoning his employer to get him fired.
 Everybody laughed at me.  What can I do?
 -- A Concerned Citizen
 
 Dear Concerned:
 Go to the daily papers.  Most modern reporters are top-notch computer
 experts who will understand the net, and your problems, perfectly.  They
 will print careful, reasoned stories without any errors at all, and surely
 represent the situation properly to the public.  The public will also all
 act wisely, as they are also fully cognizant of the subtle nature of net
 society.
 Papers never sensationalize or distort, so be sure to point out things
 like racism and sexism wherever they might exist.  Be sure as well that they
 understand that all things on the net, particularly insults, are meant
 literally.  Link what transpires on the net to the causes of the Holocaust, if
 possible.  If regular papers won't take the story, go to a tabloid paper --
 they are always interested in good stories.
 
 |  |  |  | #1715 |  | Dear Emily: I'm still confused as to what groups articles should be posted
 to.  How about an example?
 -- Still Confused
 
 Dear Still:
 Ok.  Let's say you want to report that Gretzky has been traded from
 the Oilers to the Kings.  Now right away you might think rec.sport.hockey
 would be enough.  WRONG.  Many more people might be interested.  This is a
 big trade!  Since it's a NEWS article, it belongs in the news.* hierarchy
 as well.  If you are a news admin, or there is one on your machine, try
 news.admin.  If not, use news.misc.
 The Oilers are probably interested in geology, so try sci.physics.
 He is a big star, so post to sci.astro, and sci.space because they are also
 interested in stars.  Next, his name is Polish sounding.  So post to
 soc.culture.polish.  But that group doesn't exist, so cross-post to
 news.groups suggesting it should be created.  With this many groups of
 interest, your article will be quite bizarre, so post to talk.bizarre as
 well.  (And post to comp.std.mumps, since they hardly get any articles
 there, and a "comp" group will propagate your article further.)
 You may also find it is more fun to post the article once in each
 group.  If you list all the newsgroups in the same article, some newsreaders
 will only show the the article to the reader once!  Don't tolerate this.
 -- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette
 
 |  |  |  | #1716 |  | Dear Emily: Today I posted an article and forgot to include my signature.
 What should I do?
 -- Forgetful
 
 Dear Forgetful:
 Rush to your terminal right away and post an article that says,
 "Oops, I forgot to post my signature with that last article.  Here
 it is."
 Since most people will have forgotten your earlier article,
 (particularly since it dared to be so boring as to not have a nice, juicy
 signature) this will remind them of it.  Besides, people care much more
 about the signature anyway.
 -- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette
 
 |  |  |  | #1717 |  | Dear Ms. Postnews: I couldn't get mail through to somebody on another site.  What
 should I do?
 -- Eager Beaver
 
 Dear Eager:
 No problem, just post your message to a group that a lot of people
 read.  Say, "This is for John Smith.  I couldn't get mail through so I'm
 posting it.  All others please ignore."
 This way tens of thousands of people will spend a few seconds scanning
 over and ignoring your article, using up over 16 man-hours their collective
 time, but you will be saved the terrible trouble of checking through usenet
 maps or looking for alternate routes.  Just think, if you couldn't distribute
 your message to 9000 other computers, you might actually have to (gasp) call
 directory assistance for 60 cents, or even phone the person.  This can cost
 as much as a few DOLLARS (!) for a 5 minute call!
 And certainly it's better to spend 10 to 20 dollars of other people's
 money distributing the message than for you to have to waste $9 on an overnight
 letter, or even 25 cents on a stamp!
 Don't forget.  The world will end if your message doesn't get through,
 so post it as many places as you can.
 -- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette
 
 |  |  |  | #1718 |  | Dear Sir, I am firmly opposed to the spread of microchips either to the home or
 to the office,  We have more than enough of them foisted upon us in public
 places.  They are a disgusting Americanism, and can only result in the farmers
 being forced to grow smaller potatoes, which in turn will cause massive un-
 employment in the already severely depressed agricultural industry.
 Yours faithfully,
 Capt. Quinton D'Arcy, J.P.
 Sevenoaks
 -- Letters To The Editor, The Times of London
 
 |  |  |  | #1719 |  | Debug is human, de-fix divine. 
 |  |  |  | #1720 |  | DEC diagnostics would run on a dead whale. -- Mel Ferentz
 
 |  |  |  |  |  |   ...            ...   | 
 
  art   computers   cookie   definitions   education   ethnic   food   fortunes   humorists   kids   law   literature   love   medicine   men-women   news   paradoxum   people   pets   platitudes   politics   riddles   science   sports   wisdom   work
 | 
 | 
 | 
 |  |  
 | |  |  |  |  | | | You're not logged in! If you don't have an account yet, please register one and get your very own elite (but free) BGA account! | 
 |  | 
 |  |  |  |  | 
 |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  | 
 |