 fortune index all fortunes
| | #821 | | TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright
| | | #822 | | Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking,
unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.
-- Edward Gibbon
| | | #823 | | Use an accordion. Go to jail.
-- KFOG, San Francisco
| | | #824 | | Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds
sang there except those that sang best.
-- Henry Van Dyke
| | | #825 | | Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The
reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of
thirty-five.
-- Joel Hildebrand
| | | #826 | | VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel
entrances; others cannot.
This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least
it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to
trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical
space. The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to
follow into the painting. This is ultimately a problem of art, not
of science.
VIII. Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.
Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives
might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed,
accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be
destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate,
elongate, snap back, or solidify.
IX. For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite revengeance.
This is the one law of animated cartoon motion that also applies to
the physical world at large. For that reason, we need the relief of
watching it happen to a duck instead.
X. Everything falls faster than an anvil.
Examples too numerous to mention from the Roadrunner cartoons.
-- Esquire, "O'Donnell's Laws of Cartoon Motion", June 1980
| | | #827 | | Watch all-night Donna Reed reruns until your mind resembles oatmeal.
| | | #828 | | Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.
-- Han Solo
| | | #829 | | We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, turning down the Beatles, 1962
| | | #830 | | We have art that we do not die of the truth.
-- Nietzsche
| | | | ... |
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