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| #811 |  | This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible.  This was terrible with raisins in it.
 -- Dorothy Parker
 
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| #812 |  | Three actors, Tom, Fred, and Cec, wanted to do the jousting scene from Don Quixote for a local TV show.  "I'll play the title role," proposed
 Tom.  "Fred can portray Sancho Panza, and Cecil B. De Mille."
 
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| #813 |  | Three hours a day will produce as much as a man ought to write. -- Trollope
 
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| #814 |  | To be is to do. -- I. Kant
 To do is to be.
 -- A. Sartre
 Do be a Do Bee!
 -- Miss Connie, Romper Room
 Do be do be do!
 -- F. Sinatra
 Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
 -- F. Flintstone
 
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| #815 |  | Today you'll start getting heavy metal radio on your dentures. 
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| #816 |  | Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream.  Join us soon for more
 spectacular adventure starring...  Tippy, the Wonder Dog!
 -- Bob & Ray
 
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| #817 |  | "Today, of course, it is considered very poor taste to use the F-word except in major motion pictures."
 -- Dave Barry, "$#$%#^%!^%&@%@!"
 
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| #818 |  | Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy. -- Han Solo
 
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| #819 |  | Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle. -- Michelangelo
 
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|  | 
| #820 |  | "Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense." 
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|   ...            ...   |