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  fortune index  all fortunes 
  
 |  |  | #551 |  | I never failed to convince an audience that the best thing they could do was to go away.
 
 |  |  |  | #552 |  | I never made a mistake in my life.  I thought I did once, but I was wrong. -- Lucy Van Pelt
 
 |  |  |  | #553 |  | I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation. -- G. B. Shaw
 
 |  |  |  | #554 |  | I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances
 being in widespread use.  Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms
 of talent, on who could make an album, so we made one, and it sounds like
 a group of people who have been given powerful but unfamiliar instruments
 as a therapy for a degenerative nerve disease.
 -- Dave Barry, "The Snake"
 
 |  |  |  | #555 |  | I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader.  But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if
 I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out.
 -- Stephen King
 
 |  |  |  | #556 |  | I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the morning.  A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for
 the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to
 invade your privacy, but I have a bet with a friend of mine.  Who composed
 the opening theme music of 'Omnibus'?  My friend said Virgil Thomson."  I
 asked him, "What do you say?" He replied, "I say Aaron Copeland." I said,
 "You're right."  The porter said,  "I knew Thomson doesn't write counterpoint
 that way."  I told that to a network president, and he was deeply unimpressed.
 -- Alistair Cooke
 
 |  |  |  | #557 |  | I remember Ulysses well...  Left one day for the post office to mail a letter, met a blonde named Circe on the streetcar, and didn't come back for 20 years.
 
 |  |  |  | #558 |  | I saw Lassie.  It took me four shows to figure out why the hairy kid never spoke. I mean, he could roll over and all that, but did that deserve a series?
 
 |  |  |  | #559 |  | I stick my neck out for nobody. -- Humphrey Bogart, "Casablanca"
 
 |  |  |  | #560 |  | I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six.  Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
 -- Shirley Temple
 
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